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Where I started brainstorming was a place inside of me that had felt an extreme amount of guilt, confusion, and isolation. This feeling led me to my younger self. From about the age of seven years old to about fourteen, I experienced these deep feelings. These feelings probably stemmed from two main factors: the expectations society and I had for my being a female, and attempting to understand sexuality in myself and as a whole. This process of exploring this age led me to moments in my childhood where i felt the most vulnerable. Vulnerability and confusion of my body and feelings regarding it came to a perfect storm at the swimming pool, surrounded by my peers.
In my image, I wanted to capture the awkward, too large for my bathing suit, lonely, and judged feelings that plagued me, while positioned at the bottom of a swimming pool, where I would stay as long as I could, to avoid walking around community centers half naked. One foot trying to participate and avoid the judgement of leaving, and one foot ready to escape.
In my image, I wanted to capture the awkward, too large for my bathing suit, lonely, and judged feelings that plagued me, while positioned at the bottom of a swimming pool, where I would stay as long as I could, to avoid walking around community centers half naked. One foot trying to participate and avoid the judgement of leaving, and one foot ready to escape.
- Copyright
- Gerlo Beernink
- Image Size
- 3063x4429 / 6.6MB
- Contained in galleries
- Summer Student Work
